Resume

Quick reflection on resumes that we've come to realize in the last week or so. As I wrote earlier, we're looking to replace our intern Max with a new, fully complementary team of super-interns. We've been collecting applications for a few days now, and have subsequently received a bunch of resumes. We're looking for college-aged kids mostly, but a most of them don't have jack squat to put on a resume. I don't have jack-squat to put on a resume. And just like them, I wrote a page of garbage and hoped to get called in for an interview. You can go through it one by one and laugh at every item:

GPA:  Okay indicator I guess, but my grades were pretty lackluster. A lot of people just don't have the right motivation yet.

Honors: Another "can't hurt" thing, but who knows what qualifies as "Deans list" at WIT? I could look it up I guess, but here I am, not doing that.

Skills: According to my old resume, I had Excel skills. Never used Excel in my life.

Experience: You're in college! Over 90% of these people are experienced with absolutely nothing. Summer internship filing paperwork, YMCA lifegaurd, and well rounded on the beer pong table. If I redid my resume, I would write, "read about all my summer jobs, but you and I both know I don't have a lick of experience, I'm 19 and have been a full time student since I wet the bed."

Other work: If experience was thin at best, "other work" is a full blown joke. I'm pretty sure my resume said I enjoy golf, skiing, and reading. You're 19! It was illegal for you to work 4 years ago without a certificate. You were playing wiffle ball and crushing slip and slides when you weren't on the clock at school playing dodgeball and reading awesome fiction books as actual work.

Obviously everyone looking at resumes is different, but I don't think you can learn too much about a college kid from reading these things. It's kind of ridiculous that this is the first point of filtration; this useless page of self-created fluff.